so last night i was a fucking mess, but like not in the drunk delicious way.
i'll be home soon, & everything will be amazing!


happy birthday jess!

pre-dawn light

sometimes i'm afraid you will read this, and use everything in here against me.
i don't know if yr a true friend, or not. i'd certainly like to believe the best! but from some of yr actions, and from some of the things i've heard you say.. let's just say it doesn't look promising.

also, i'd like to know why i've been such an emotional wreck lately. seriously, what the fuck. i feel so defeated all the time. it doesn't matter that i just finished my hair course with a 92%, and my fashion with an 88%. something of course will go wrong..

& i haven't been able to go to the hospital yet. i just can't bring myself to do it. i don't want to see my aunt laying there, tumors infesting her body. she's one of the last real connections i have to my grandmother. i hated seeing my grandmother on her death bed, one of my worst memories. i refuse it to be the last of my aunt as well.

i wrote you an email explaining my situation right now, how come you didn't respond?

hands don't fail me now.

i wish things could be less complicated. i want this to be over.
and when the hunger returns, hopefully i'll be able to keep my head held high.

i don't think you realize your actions, nor how they effect anyone else but you.
i've spent the better part of my teenage years being afraid,
stuck inside a heavy shell.
my insides have been broken.

but i'm moving forward. there is a universe that i've neglected thanks to you.
and i hope that weighs heavy on you.

i did not know it would be like this, but i guess some things are better off left alone.

skin on skin.